So Just How Do I Go About Attracting A Guy?

I can’t quite believe I’m writing this, but a number of people I’ve been talking with have been tying themselves up in knots about their lack of dating success recently. I’ve lost track now of the number of times I’ve heard a close friend say they’re crushing hard on someone. Their hearts are soaring and pulses fluttering but they just can’t bring themselves to step up, so their crush just walks on by.

So – here’s my easy-peasy guide to attracting a guy in such a way that he won’t go running frantically for the hills screaming about bunny-boilers. You’ll need a sense of humour, a little bit of self-belief and to learn to show some self-restraint. This really isn’t rocket science, people.

Now, it really should go without saying that you need to make sure to freshen up before going out on a date. You don’t really need to go the whole salon-fresh route, just look clean and comfortable in your own skin. You should also choose something you’re comfortable in to wear. The more comfortable you are, the less distracted you are so the fewer mixed messages you’ll be sending – but have some pride in your appearance too. Find that middle ground between the elasticated sweatpants and putting everything on display, okay?

And really – just relax. If you’ve set your sights on someone, you’ve generally got the advantage already on the date. Most guys are so insecure that they really don’t quite believe that someone wants to spend time with them so they’ll already be on the back foot if you ask them out.

Now, be yourself rather than what you think he wants you to be. You won’t enjoy being someone you’re not in the long run, and you’re doing yourself a grave disservice. Have some respect for yourself.

Look in the right places, many dating websites will get you lots of attention but probably not the type you want. The sex dating type of sites are generally for people looking for a casual relationship so avoid these unless you want to get hurt.

Don’t go announcing any long term plans – find some common ground to chat about, but you absolutely do not want to go talking about what you’ll be doing in six months, no matter how sure you are he’s The One.

Flirt for all you’re worth, but don’t make it easy on him. Make him work for it and appreciate you’re not going to change your whole life for him. Likewise, appearing needy will just kill the date stone dead. Instead, just have fun. Enjoy yourself and relax.

If it doesn’t work out, you’ve had a great night out and not compromised yourself. If all goes well, then tell me the juicy details in the morning.

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