Large dating site of smaller site more focussed to your needs?


This is a common question that comes up when people are looking for a dating site to join. These days there are a whole host of sites catering for every conceivable need. Do you pick a dating site that focuses on one particular need like dating for older people, disabled people or even single parents or do you decide to go with a more well known site which guarantees a bigger pool of single members?

There is no clear cut answer to this. I would generally advise newcomers to the online dating game to go with an established dating site with a good track record of customer service and a large pool of members unless your own personal requirements are quite specific. Some dating sites that cater for the likes of overweight people, red headed people and the like are generally no more likely to help you find your ideal partner than any other mainstream dating website especially when you consider that most modern dating sites offer a vast range of search options so you can filter your matches by things like build, hair colour or age. Where the more focused sites come into their own is when a person is after a very specific partner. Sites like disabled dating, single parent dating or even sites catering for a particular religion can be very effective in finding a match if you are only interested in meeting someone who matches your specified criteria and you are not open to meeting someone outside of these groups or when people of a particular group do not readily register for the more general dating sites.

In summary, if you are just more attracted to people of a certain body type, age or similar I would recommend you stick to the well known dating sites, many of which offer a free trial period so you can see if its right for you prior to handing over any money. If your needs are more strict, try a dating site that focuses on matching people in your target group.

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Are casual affairs wrecking relationships?

Casual affairs, depending on who you ask, seem to be easier than ever these days. The internet seems to have enabled a generation of people who see no harm in seeking out people online for a series of no-strings encounters. For some, the very existence of online adultery sites, or of casual dating sites like who openly promote adultery, is a sign that people are becoming less likely to work out the difficulties in the relationships that they already have.

The high profile of certain sites through deliberately controversial adverts would seem to suggest that an increasing number of people are choosing to view life and potential partners as something akin to Forest Gump’s box of chocolates. For them, it is argued, life has become all about the next flavour, the next opportunity, leading to a breakdown in traditional relationships.

Who would have believed even ten years ago how easy it could be to fall for someone you’d never met or even seen across the internet? Those who indulge in casual affairs online claim that it is harmless fun – chat and banter between people. The problem is that, like alcoholics or substance abusers, these people tend to end up wanting more. Step by step they get deeper and deeper into emotional affairs, and before they know it, they are meeting up. Where then do we draw the line between harmless flirtation and chatter and the betrayal of existing relationships?

While we may be hard pressed to say exactly where that line is drawn as it seems to vary from person to person, there can be no doubt that we all know instinctively when we’ve crossed it. We know when what we are saying or doing would cause distress to existing partners, whether it’s a marriage, civil union or ‘merely’ as boyfriend or girlfriend.

Casual affairs are quite a different beast from casual dating, where everyone knows the score and no one is getting hurt (well apart from pride if advances are rebuffed). Casual affairs, whether they start in the workplace, at a bar or in a web browser are a symptom of something going very wrong in an existing relationship. No one is ever forced into an affair, casual or otherwise, and the international divorce rates seem at the moment to continue to be in decline so we cannot really claim that affairs are any more prevalent than at any other time in history.

They are certainly easier with technology, but that’s a whole different argument.

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Think About Economical Asian Dating

Asian dating can be economical yet romantic. Dating online, obviously, is the most inexpensive way of Asian dating. However, dating in Asia can also be inexpensive while face to face meeting with your date. Dating in the romantic places in Asia costs less than other places in the world do. These places are also with full of scenic beauty. Why not using nature? Nature is naturally a superb place for dating. Areas those have lakes, gardens or hills are perfect to inspire your romantic side. Private parks are also found; these are just perfect for romantic dating. If your date is more adventurous, you might enjoy a hike or long walk through a natural park. Spend some time to discover such places in Asia.

Find out free or inexpensive events and couple programs in Asia. Local Asian newspapers are great sources to find out about free events. Local entertainment guides or magazines provide information on upcoming events too. So you can take advantage of these easily. If your date is an art lover, then art exhibitions and museums also very good options. Such Asian places are often free; sometimes these can charge a nominal fee to enter. You can surprise your date by taking him or her there. It is also a great opportunity to learn more about your date and your dates interests.

Do not forget about romantic dinner or lunch with your partner. Eating together is a great option to express love and care. A wonderful loving dinner is not always depends on eating in an expensive and over-gorgeous restaurant. Your romantic imagination and creativity will help you in this matter. Arrange a dinner or lunch in a small beautiful restaurant. Another uncommon option is picking out some items you and your date would like to cook for dinner. These are just only few options. Hence, finding inexpensive dating in Asia is not so problematic if you keep your eyes open for things.

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So Just How Do I Go About Attracting A Guy?

I can’t quite believe I’m writing this, but a number of people I’ve been talking with have been tying themselves up in knots about their lack of dating success recently. I’ve lost track now of the number of times I’ve heard a close friend say they’re crushing hard on someone. Their hearts are soaring and pulses fluttering but they just can’t bring themselves to step up, so their crush just walks on by.

So – here’s my easy-peasy guide to attracting a guy in such a way that he won’t go running frantically for the hills screaming about bunny-boilers. You’ll need a sense of humour, a little bit of self-belief and to learn to show some self-restraint. This really isn’t rocket science, people.

Now, it really should go without saying that you need to make sure to freshen up before going out on a date. You don’t really need to go the whole salon-fresh route, just look clean and comfortable in your own skin. You should also choose something you’re comfortable in to wear. The more comfortable you are, the less distracted you are so the fewer mixed messages you’ll be sending – but have some pride in your appearance too. Find that middle ground between the elasticated sweatpants and putting everything on display, okay?

And really – just relax. If you’ve set your sights on someone, you’ve generally got the advantage already on the date. Most guys are so insecure that they really don’t quite believe that someone wants to spend time with them so they’ll already be on the back foot if you ask them out.

Now, be yourself rather than what you think he wants you to be. You won’t enjoy being someone you’re not in the long run, and you’re doing yourself a grave disservice. Have some respect for yourself.

Look in the right places, many dating websites will get you lots of attention but probably not the type you want. The sex dating type of sites are generally for people looking for a casual relationship so avoid these unless you want to get hurt.

Don’t go announcing any long term plans – find some common ground to chat about, but you absolutely do not want to go talking about what you’ll be doing in six months, no matter how sure you are he’s The One.

Flirt for all you’re worth, but don’t make it easy on him. Make him work for it and appreciate you’re not going to change your whole life for him. Likewise, appearing needy will just kill the date stone dead. Instead, just have fun. Enjoy yourself and relax.

If it doesn’t work out, you’ve had a great night out and not compromised yourself. If all goes well, then tell me the juicy details in the morning.

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What Is It About Bad Boys?

What’s not to love about bad boys? When we think about what we think we lack, they have it in spades. A bad boy is confident, rebellious and boy, talk about that alpha male masculinity challenging us. There’s something about that mysterious, brooding loner that rings all our bells – and of course, it’s all just an illusion.

When it comes down to it, most bad boys crumble when the going gets tough. The minute something needs facing, or that they should be taking ownership of what they’ve done, they’ll deflect, sidestep and dissemble to avoid it. Like anyone, a bad boy values his freedom, but they’ll often be so afraid of feeling trapped that they’ll make an exaggerated shying away from intimacy and closeness. For many of us, we’ll see this as a rejection and chase after them to try and ‘make things up’ – making the bad boy run even faster.

My experience is that your average bad boy is sensitive, but only as far as his own needs. There’s a narcissism that allows them to use their sensitivity to manipulate you into satisfying their needs – and they will often appear quite thoughtful and charming about it. You might think that the date is all about you, but it is at heart all about meeting their needs.

On a certain level there’s honesty about that, if that’s all you’re looking for in the relationship. And if you’re dating a bad boy, you almost certainly do already know about this. You’re well aware of the fragility behind that bluff take-charge exterior, and you’ll be forgiving and caring and supportive as much as they need – but that’s the trap.

What we do when we fall in love is raise that person up in our esteem, putting them on a pedestal. When their opinion, actions and words mean as much to us as they do, we are reducing our own status. Equality comes in the relationship when your partner does the same back bring you both back to a normal level. A bad boy usually doesn’t have the maturity or openness to be able to do this for you, leading to a huge imbalance in the relationship. We want that love back, so we chase after them, demanding it – and they see that as an attempt to pin them down, so they run.

My advice? Know what you want, and be up front about it. Who knows, maybe you’ll become a bit of a bad boy yourself?

This article was submitted by Lisa from, one of South Africa’s leading gay dating websites. Lisa writes for several high profile dating agencies about relationship related issues and is a active supporter of education in Africa of gay rights.

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How To Cope With a Divorce

Divorce graphic from affair siteMarriage is one of the happiest times in anyone’s life. It is when you join with your loved one and vow to be together forever. However the reality of it is that almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Even though marriage is one of the happiest times in your life, divorce is one of the worst times in your life. Learning how to cope with your divorce will help you get through this difficult time in your life.

Admitting That it is Over

In order to cope with your divorce, you must first admit to yourself that it is happening. Many people that are going through divorce, whether you are the divorcer or the divorcee, have difficulty admitting to themselves that their marriage is over. A marriage is supposed to last a lifetime and knowing that you were unable to make yours work makes you feel like a failure. However, you are not a failure. People change and sometimes the changes are too much to overcome. When two people that love each other change significantly and begin to grow apart, the love can start to fade away. Once you have admitted that the marriage is over you can begin the coping process.

Learning to Cope

Forgiving all that has been done is the first step in coping with the divorce. Whether you did something wrong or you were wronged by your spouse you need to forgive and forget. There is not need to dwell on what happened. The next step is going through all of you shared items. If you are not bringing lawyers into the divorce then you should decipher who gets what. Sometimes a lawyer will need to come into the process, but that is still helping you cope. The next step is letting go of your marriage. Do not live in the past. There are things that you did as a married couple that you may think you no longer can do, but that is not true. You can do anything that you want, just as a single person. The final step in coping with a divorce is going on a date. Once the wounds have begun to heal you need to get yourself back out into the dating scene. Vowing to never get married or never date again will just make you miserable. Instead, allow yourself to let others into your life. You may even find yourself falling in love again.

Divorce is a difficult time for both parties. It is the end of a marriage, a union, a relationship, but it does not have to be the end of your life. Learning how to cope with the divorce will allow you to let go of the past and move on to a bigger and brighter future. For more:

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